He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
