if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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