I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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