I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
