Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize