i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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