You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i think i just lost a toe
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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