My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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