My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sorry about my life...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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