Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
