You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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