Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?

  (408): View more from California

  we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.

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  (202): first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why? (408): we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try. http://tfl.nu/v7dh
  Replies (21) Good night (750) Bad night (1618)
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  (212): View more from New York

  so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.

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  (212): so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is. http://tfl.nu/r3y5
  Replies (8) Good night (905) Bad night (1520)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.

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  (218): My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles. http://tfl.nu/kfaj
  Replies (18) Good night (1029) Bad night (3234)
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  (516): View more from New York

  you left your dildo in my car

  (516): View more from New York

  rules of finders keepers apply

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  (516): you left your dildo in my car (516): rules of finders keepers apply http://tfl.nu/0377
  Replies (20) Good night (3647) Bad night (1381)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck

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  (276): Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck http://tfl.nu/4gk1
  Replies (72) Good night (4264) Bad night (886)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.

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  (605): I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done. http://tfl.nu/lxsz
  Replies (23) Good night (1152) Bad night (4677)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.

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  (803): there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina. http://tfl.nu/qg49
  Replies (28) Good night (1151) Bad night (20295)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.

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  (330): He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville. http://tfl.nu/qtz6
  Replies (7) Good night (1063) Bad night (1878)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch

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  (419): His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch http://tfl.nu/wbxj
  Replies (13) Good night (4245) Bad night (1560)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder

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  (705): All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder http://tfl.nu/9ns2
  Replies (8) Good night (805) Bad night (467)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.

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  (734): It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles. http://tfl.nu/qtkj
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (336)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt

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  (757): I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt http://tfl.nu/qfiy
  Replies (4) Good night (839) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.

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  (469): He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out. http://tfl.nu/vcz5
  Replies (4) Good night (981) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.

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  (702): I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way. http://tfl.nu/vsfa
  Replies (3) Good night (437) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.

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  (208): Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering. http://tfl.nu/ya1u
  Replies (5) Good night (883) Bad night (410)

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