i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
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My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life