At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
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I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret