There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
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Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
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When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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