You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
