At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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