No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
