I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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