i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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