and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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