Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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