Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
