Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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