I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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