Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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