the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
