Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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