Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
