I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
they need to just BURY HIM!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
