He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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