I feel like abortions should bother me more
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
