so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
