So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
