Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My pussy is not your playground.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
