Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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