my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The power of my boobs compel you
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
