What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
