so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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