the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
