he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
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