did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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