woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
