wat bout pragnant strippers??
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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