it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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