I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
