i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
