Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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