Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
