wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
