honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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