just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
