Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize