and i looked up. we had an audience...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
