Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
