Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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