she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
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He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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