I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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