before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
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