if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
