Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
