why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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