Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
