I showed him my bush... on skype.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
