I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize