i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
